You came for the neon. You’ll stay for the varnished sandstone and a brutal reality check from a 5.8 that climbs like it’s being audited.
I’m The Breeze—I’m the one who tells you your “project” is just a mere warm-up . Welcome to Red Rock Canyon, the best climbing within Uber range of a regrettable decision.
(The Breeze’s Lightning Round)
Season: Sept–May. Shoulder seasons are for sun-chasers and lizard-people.
Best for beginners: Panty Wall, Magic Bus, Dog Wall, Hamlet. They’re friendly. Unlike me.
Intro multipitch: Cat in the Hat (5.6), Birdland (5.7+), Johnny Vegas → Solar Slab (5.7), Frogland (5.8). Your first taste of exposure. Don’t worry, it’s adorable.
Where to stay: Las Vegas. Summerlin/Red Rock Resort area if you’re fancy. The Strip if you enjoy sleeping to the soothing sounds of a man sobbing over a blackjack table.
Scenic Loop: Opens early. On weekends, if you’re not in line by 7:59 a.m., you’ve already failed.
Why Red Rock Works
This isn’t Vegas. It’s wide-open desert where a five-minute approach buys you a thousand feet of pure, unadulterated joy. Sticky varnish. Friendly bolting (mostly). Grades ranging from “my first time outside” to “I speak fluent sandstone.”
Translation: You can absolutely trick your non-climber friends into this trip. The scenery does all the lying for you.
When To Go (So You Don’t Become Jerky)
| Month | Conditions | What to Target |
| **Sept** | Surface-of-the-sun warm | Shade-hopping. Desperate evening laps. |
| **Oct–Nov** | Goldilocks season | Everything. Sport, trad, multipitch. Light layers. |
| **Dec–Feb** | Cold mornings, soul-crushing wind | Sun-chasing. Bring a belay puffy the size of a small child. |
| **Mar–Apr** | Prime sending temps | Everything—book early. It’s a zoo. A very fit, chalky zoo. |
| **May** | Getting toasty | Mornings in the shade. Be poolside by 2 p.m. |
| **Jun–Aug** | Actual convection oven | Climb at night or climb in a different state. Your choice. |
**Wet rock warning:** If it rains, the rock becomes a stale cookie. Do not climb. Go be an adult and eat pancakes instead. It’s what I’d do.
What To Climb
1) The “I’ve Only Felt Plastic” Starter Pack (5.6–5.9)
Panty Wall (5.6–5.9):** Gentle angles, solid varnish. You’ll feel like a natural. It’s cute.
Magic Bus (5.7–5.10):** Pumpy but well-bolted. The perfect place to remember your gym grade is a social construct.
Dog Wall (to 5.8):** Sunny and social. Bring snacks. You’ll make friends. Or at least borrow their beta.
Hamlet (5.6–5.9):** Short hike, generous clipping stances. No excuses.
**The Breeze's Reality Check:**
Your first 5.9 outside will feel like doing your taxes in a foreign language—confusing, slightly insulting, and you’re pretty sure you’re doing it wrong. It’s normal. Now stop whining.
2) The “I’m Feeling Spicy” Selection (5.9–5.10)
Gelatin Pooch (10a) – The Pier:** Honest movement. No tricks. Unlike my ex.
Riding Hood Wall (5.9/10a): A sampler platter of Red Rock movement.
Cannibal Crag (10a–b): Sticky varnish fun with a view of your future self sending.
3) Gateway Multipitch (Trad Lite)
Cat in the Hat (5.6, 6p): The classic. Gets more traffic than the Strip. Go early.
Birdland (5.7+, 5p): Clean cracks, thoughtful feet, outstanding positions. It’s a real looker.
Johnny Vegas → Solar Slab (5.7, 8–10p): Linkup royalty. A big day for a big ego.
Frogland (5.8, 6p): Slightly more heady. Great for learning route-finding, or how to panic quietly.
Crimson Chrysalis (5.8+, 9p): Glassy varnish up a wind tunnel. Bring layers and a therapist.
**Breeze's Pro tip:**
Multipitch = logistics. Headlamp, 60m rope, thin puffy, a *real* lunch (not a single GU), and a comfortable anchor routine. Your partner will thank you. I won’t, but they will.
The Breeze’s Guide to Not Being a Gumby
Helmet.** Sandstone + people above = a free, unsolicited gravity workshop.
Rope:** 70m. Because walking off is for peasants.
Quickdraws:** 10–14 for sport; cams .3–3 (doubles in .5–1) for trad. If you don’t know what this means, you shouldn’t be here without me.
Water:** You’re in a desert. 2–3 L minimum. Your urine should not look like apple juice.
Navigation:** Download a map. Those descent gullies all look identical after six pitches and poor life choices.
Sample Itineraries (Steal These, I Allow It)
1 Day: Send, Pool, Regret
AM: Magic Bus laps to humble the forearms.
PM: Panty Wall victory cruise to restore the ego.
Evening: Pool, tacos, tell exaggerated stories to strangers.
2 Days: Multipitch + Sport Swagger
Day 1: Cat in the Hat (dawn start) → coffee like you just won something.
Day 2: Calico sport tour → airport swagger so powerful they upgrade you for free.
3 Days: We Live Here Now
Day 1: Birdland or Frogland (choose your own adventure).
Day 2: Magic Bus power hour.
Day 3: Johnny Vegas → Solar Slab linkup. Leave as legends.
FAQ (The Fun Kind)
-Do I need timed entry?
Sometimes. The solution is to be better than everyone else by arriving earlier. Be the first belayer at the gate. It’s a flex.
-Can I climb here as a brand-new climber?
Yes—with a guide (hi) or a partner who actually knows what they’re doing. This is a desert, not a daycare.
-What about big objectives like Epinephrine?
You’ll know you’re ready when your chimney technique no longer involves screaming and bargaining with a god you don’t believe in. Until then, build mileage.
-Can we book last minute?
Often. My guides are experts at managing varied abilities and the newfound fear that your partner is going to drop you. We vibe with your drama. It’s what we do.
ABOUT THE BREEZE:
The Breeze is a visionary leader in the noble art of reminding others how small they are, The Breeze has conquered more podium conversations than pitches. His hobbies include eliminating yoga, narrating his own greatness, and being “God’s gift to climbing."
Use the Kokopelli Climbing Trip Finder below to plan your climbing trip to Red Rocks, Nevada
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